so its been four months since the initial 'scare' with my Lolo. i've been trying to visit him more at my cousin's house, but its hard for me to see him like that. he's still staying strong, or at least trying to, but he's noticeably weaker and he's dropped a lot of weight. Lately, for some reason, he's been just speaking in English, which he doesnt usually do. it's kind of weird and im not sure why he's doing it.

its the holiday season now, but i dont really feel the 'holiday spirit.' the holidays havent been the same since my Lola passed away last December. and unfortunately, the relationship within my family have pretty much deteriorated. i mean, the cousins still try to 'act' like its the same and everything's fine, but its difficult with our parents having so much drama with each other. sometimes i just dont want to deal with it, and that makes visiting my Lolo even harder. im just praying for my family and my Lolo, because i guess thats all i can do.