sometimes i don't understand my parents, especially my dad. he can be such a hard ass sometimes. i don't know what's going through his mind, but it's like every time i try to talk to him, he can't just speak freely for whatever reason; he'd rather be the strict dad, that always has profound stuff to say. i mean i can chat about sports and stuff with him, but more often then not, it's just so difficult to just talk to him.

in all honesty, i really don't expect him to be all buddy, buddy with me. he's just not that type of dad. and really i don't need it. i guess we have an understanding. i guess it goes into that school of thought that a parent should be a parent, not a friend. i accept that. and i believe that aspect of him is what i looked up to growing up. he was a tough guy, didnt take any shit. and now that i think of it, i don't know how he maintained that attitude being his size. i guess he had to joining the navy and being on his own. but i really looked up to him growing up, and i still do.

i can count that times i saw my dad cry or show any weakness on one hand. they were when my lola passed away, when my lolo passed away, and when he was in the hospital for kidney stones. i don't know where i'm going with this, but i just had to put it out there that, even though i dont fully understand why my dad the way he is, i respect him and love him, even if i don't say it.



now.... what do i get him for father's day.